Let's Talk: Growing Up

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Hello, people of the interwebs (I've kind of been obsessed with Safiya Nygaard ). Ah! Feels like forever since I've written anything. Not so interesting fact: I'm finding it difficult to find the right words to punch into the keyboard. Anyway, I've got a question for you guys, you gotta be honest here. It's okay you don't have to say it out loud, just admit it to yourself. The million dollar question (nah, it's just exaggeration)  "I wish I could grow up really fast, have a job, meet new people, get away from this place where nothing ever really happens. I just cannot wait to get my FREEDOM" to be honest, I did, so Let's Talk.

As I sit on this uncomfortable couch at midnight in my hostel, which is nothing but a place that I spend my nights at, I realize I haven't done anything I've craved raved about all my teenage life. I stay in a place where about 100 people reside ( that's 20 times my family), but none of those faces give me the comfort of seeing a face that genuinely smiles at me. Staying with annoying roommates made me question why was I irritated when my mother complained about things, I mean c'mon that was better than some random crazy chick yelling that she needs that and this and that and this, how I wish that it was my mother yelling at the other end again. How the beds here always fail to give me the comfort of my mother's hug at night. Don't even get me started about the food here, I put my mother to hell and back cause of my fussy eating habits, here I have to eat whatever is available, how I wish I could taste my mother's food everyday and I swear I'd have lesser complaints now(few things never change). Going out or buying stuff with my own money makes me wonder how my dad took more than great care of three children in a country with growing expenses, how I wish I should've told him everyday how much I appreciate all things he's done for us back then.

Neither the thought of social media nor the thought of going out excites me anymore as much as coming back to my hostel and watching back to back YouTube videos after a tiring day does. Sadly that doesn't make me as happy as staying up in my own room doing absolutely nothing did. I hear a lot of complaints from my friends and family that I don't stay in touch but don't even get me started about how bad I am with virtual communication, I have all the apps installed in my phone, Whatsapp, Facebook, Skype (well almost everything) but somehow my brain refuses to use them and my heart is never satisfied with talking through a screen. I like meeting people in person, I love to make actual memories rather than social media stories (apparently Messenger has this feature now and I didn't even know) and I now actually crave to make those memories with  my loved ones. Oh, as for my travelling plans, yes I've been travelling a lot , i.e., to my hometown and back a hundred times but no where else cause believe me when I say that nothing truly makes me happy than being in a place or with a person I could call Home.

Growing up sure is a bittersweet experience. And if I could magically knock some sense into my younger self. I'd ask her to put her phone aside, stop cribbing, stop with the "I wanna grow up really quickly" bullshit and just be thankful for that moment with friends and family, go out with your friends more rather than sulking in your room, share laughs with your family more often, live in the present cause it's not gonna come back so just make memories worthwhile.

And for the people reading this, if you happen to miss me, give me call but don't leave it at that, make plans and meet up, I'd love that.

Loads of Love and Luck,
~V.  

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